How the power of listening will transform your leadership
Leaders are listeners. Great leaders are great listeners. To be a better leader, it stands to reason that we need to be better listeners. The good news is that listening is a skill that can be taught, learned and refined. The reason that listening is so important is because it builds our situational awareness faster than anything else, allowing us to be in tune with needs and opportunities around us. Listening puts us into a consuming and processing mode, which allows us to effectively gather the information we need from our interactions with others and our environment. So, how do we grow as listeners and ultimately as leaders?
How to be a better listener
The way in which we listen is foundational to that growth. Being quiet and attentive sets the tone for the conversation, demonstrating that we are invested, interested and engaged with what the other person is sharing. If you’re like me, your default will be to impatiently wait until the other party pauses to take a breath and then you quickly insert your thoughts on the topic at hand. To learn the art of listening we must resist the urge to interrupt and interject our own contributions, and only share them when the flow of the conversation dictates.
Asking questions will do two things. It will reinforce to our conversational partner that we have not lost interest and are still engaged, and the questions we ask will provide us with more information and clarity on the discussion topic. At this point, many of us have the tendency to try to manage or manipulate the direction and flow of the conversation; however, as great listeners we know that when we don’t give into these proclivities, the other person will feel more at ease, as will we, and the natural progression of the conversation will lead to a deeper connection and sharing.
As the deeper connection is being formed and more meaningful thoughts are shared, oftentimes personal problems or struggles will become the topic. In instances such as this, great listeners seek first to understand and clarify with questions, as opposed to immediately attempting to put forward a possible solution to the problem. When we are actively listening, we will pick up on verbal and non-verbal cues that will show us if and when sharing a possible fix will be welcomed. Don’t rush it. Genuine, meaningful conversations unfold organically and take time.
Who should we listen to?
The most important conversations we will ever have will be with God. He speaks to us through prayer and through His Word, the Bible. As we strive to be leaders that listen better, we must prioritize our time listening to God, because He has a plan for our lives, and if we want to live a life that is truly successful, then we will walk in that plan. The only way we can know that plan is by listening.
Western society is destroying the beauty and strength of the family. As great leaders we need to draw on the wisdom and support of our families. To do that we must listen to them. Really, pay attention to what they are sharing. Every conversation will either directly or indirectly benefit us in the long run. Leaders that desire to achieve true success prioritize and listen to their families, and this shapes and drives who they become as leaders.
Mentors, trusted peers and advisors play a major role in our lives as leaders. We surround ourselves with people who ignite and guide us. When we take the time to listen to what these folks speak into our lives, even when it’s not what we want to hear, we are opening ourselves up to growth. If you don’t have these relationships in your life, let me encourage you to pursue them vigorously. To quote the African Proverb, “If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far go together.” As leaders we want to go far, so find and listen to the men and women that will go far with you.
Not only do we listen to people, but we need to listen to data and analytics as well. Listening, when it comes to analytics, means putting in the hard hours of going over all the data and drawing the right conclusions. It also means that we are open to accepting the findings, even when they aren’t to our liking. It’s easy to listen when it’s something we want to hear; however, it is equally as important to listen when it’s something we don’t want to hear. Learn to listen to the facts, and then lead from them.
In order to become great listeners, we must become experts at focus. Whoever or whatever we are currently listening to requires your attention. We must keep notifications at bay, turn off the mental to-do list scrolling through our minds, and simply be with the person, data or content that is in front of us and be present as we listen and engage.
Growing as a leader
As we grow as a listener, we will find that we are simultaneously growing as a leader. Who and what we listen to, and how we listen, shapes our character, personality, interests and decision making. All key pieces that makeup a leader. In our household, we have a mantra that guides us, “be sweet, smart and strong.” By listening to the right people and content, we will find ourselves becoming a leader who is caring, wise and confident; in other words, sweet, smart and strong. The world needs more leaders like this.
A natural byproduct of great listening is information. The better we become at listening and the more often we do it, the more useful information we will learn and gather. For leaders, we are only as good as the information we have. Lending an attentive ear opens us up to receiving far more and far better intel than we would have otherwise had.
If you are like me, I’m a goer and a doer. What I’ve found is that by focusing on improving my listening it has taken me out of my comfort zone of constantly going and doing, and allowed me to elevate the blessing of being in the moment and enjoying the abundant life that Jesus promises us. Listening well will naturally change the pace and cadence of our lives. Don’t fight this slowing, these are healthy rhythms that will empower you to thrive.
In Conclusion
Listening isn’t something that you switch on or off. It is a learned lifestyle. Your mamma probably told you that the Good Lord gave you two ears and only one mouth for a reason. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Your mamma wasn’t wrong.
